You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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