I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
