At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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