Porn is love you can see.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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