you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
