I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
