With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
