I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
