Pappa wants mamma naked
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
