Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
