You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
