He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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