you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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