People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
