in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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