There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
