Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
