Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
