you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
