They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
