I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
