did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
