New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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