His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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