it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
