Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
