You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
