Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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