haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
