I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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