So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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