I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
