I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
