I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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