Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
