I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
