you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
