Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
