What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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