my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it hurts more in the daytime
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
