..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
