You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
