One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
