I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize