It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
