I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
