I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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