Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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