youre lurking in front of me
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
