Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
