she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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